Medication didn't work for me. Neither did talk therapy, at least not on its own. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with CPTSD that anything started to make sense. It wasn't until I found EMDR, brainspotting, and polyvagal theory that I started to actually change.

I have been in recovery for an eating disorder and substance abuse. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar for years. I had a bilateral mastectomy, then four more surgeries after it. My mother died. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My husband left me the day I came home from taking care of my father, between my fourth and fifth surgery, for someone twenty years younger. We are now divorced. My father died not long after.

I have only my sister in this world. She was the second person I ever read cards for. My best friend Willy was the third. The three of us are the beginning of the coven.

I was raised very religious. I was taught to be afraid of tarot, of divination, of anything that lived outside the closed circuit of the church. I no longer see the cards that way. They are a tool for self-examination, a way to bring awareness to the parts of yourself you haven't been willing to look at from a certain angle.

If money were no object I would write and read cards and work out and eat well and build this community. So that's what I'm doing. Building the place I should have had in the church, without the shame, without the control, without the closed circuit.

A community for people who are doing the hard work and don't want to do it alone. This is why it exists.